Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Passing of Holly - "I Will Miss It Here."

From Dawn:

On September 27, 2008 at 2pm, we had to help our dear horse friend Holly on her way. Cancer had ravaged her body slowly over the past several months and we knew her time with us was drawing to a close. Holly was a 28 year old Morgan/Quarter Horse mare. She had been with us for over 20 years.

Holly came to Spring Farm when her beloved human companion, Carol, passed away unexpectedly. Some of you may remember reading about Carol's visits to Holly in spirit form shortly after Holly arrived at the farm, in our book IF ONLY THEY COULD TALK: The Miracles of Spring Farm. There were several occassions where I would see Carol standing at the fence line reaching over and grooming Holly. These were such clear experiences and not dreams or visions. About 3 weeks ago I happened to look out one of the windows from my house/office looking over the farm and saw a woman sitting on our fence holding a halter and lead rope. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and thought - "oh, there's Margot sitting on the fence." Except I couldn't figure out why Margot would be sitting on the fence and when I looked again, no one was there. This happened more than once. The third time I saw this, a chill went down my spine. I realized it wasn't Margot I was seeing at all, but it was Holly's old companion Carol. Carol and Margot have very similar phyiscal features. I knew then that Holly's time was drawing near. I connected with Carol and asked her if she had anything to say. She said, "You've taken great care of my girl all these years and now soon I will take her back from you again. Once again it can be my turn to care for her. She will be fine with me. Its not time yet, but when it is, I'll be here."

We knew Saturday morning that the day had come to help Holly leave this body. She told us that as long as she could eat, enjoy time in her pasture, and still be seen as the beautiful being that she was that she wanted to stay every second that she could. Although she still could eat some, she could no longer eat enough to support her body and we prepared all of her animal family that the time had come. We knew Carol would come and get her, of that we had no doubts. I couldn't be with Holly as I have been laid up for several weeks and am recuperating from minor surgery on Friday. It bothered me not to be able to be with Holly physically to say good-bye, even though I knew our hearts could still connect "long distance." As I was told the vet had arrived, I connected with my friend and very clearly got one strong communication from her. "I will miss it here!" she said. I immediately began to cry. "Don't be sad for me. Just know I will miss it here. There is no greater message I could leave you with at this moment."

And then Holly gave me the following message as she peacefully passed from our embrace back to Carol's loving care.

From Holly:
I will miss it here.
I always wanted to be able to say on the day I died “I will miss it here.”
For to reach a statement as simple, as pure, and as profound as that, is proof that a good life has been lived.
Indeed, I will miss it here.
Today it rains. Some may say what a dreary day to die. However, this morning I got to stand out in the rain and know that I will miss it here.
All last week it was sunny. It was warm but not too hot; it was cool but not cold. And I felt blessed to be alive.
I have never feared and do not fear now where it is I’m going when I leave this place. But to be able to love this life so much that I can say from my heart that I will miss it, is far more important to me than the spirit home I know for sure I will find when I leave.
I have no fear, no remorse, and no sadness. I simply leave with a longing to return. And the knowledge that I can and will be back.

In this body, I was loved not for what I did but simply for who I was. Unrideable from a very young age, it would have been easy to find hardship, strife, misuse, and turmoil. But instead I found a heart who saw me as a beauty and loved and treasured me. When that kind human moved on into spirit, once again I was bound for possible trouble. Yet, this farm was then found where once again I could live my life to just be me. I could live my passion – to be a horse and love the land. That is what you let me do and helped me to achieve. For 20 years I was a part of your lives. Even for a time when I lived off this farm, loved and cared for by another as my friend, you were always here watching over me. It is not with sadness that I leave. For I know that my friend Carol is waiting for me on the other side. The place I go is back into her loving embrace and back to a home I will welcome in an instant. But I leave here wanting you, who loved me and saw my beauty of truly being who I am, to know this one last message to all of you as I now go.
I will miss it here.
Keep a space for me in your hearts where you will find me to be with you again.

For more information on Holly: Visit our the Memorial Page on our website.


Anonymous said...

This post gives me much hope that I will see past animal friends again when it's my turn. Thank you for sharing, Holly.

Edavis said...

I did not know Holly but she tells a lot of her spirit in her words. She had such a passion for just being allowed to be. This is an important human lesson to our own souls and also to who our animal companions can be in our lives. Just allow ourselves to be, in love and acceptance. Thank you Holly.