Sunday, September 12, 2010
ASK AMBER - September 2010
1. Q: We always talk about humans who abandon animals but we seldom talk about our animals who abandon us. I was living in the country with three cats, Macou, Sophie, and Fimousse. Last May I moved to the city. It was not to Macou’s satisfaction, so he left. He crossed the swamp and walked to a farm nearby and decided to stay there. I know this because I can communicate with animals so I communicated with him. Now here is my point of view. He abandoned me. He left me. I love him. I miss his tenderness, the nearness of him, he is full of love. And I don’t have that any more. Tell me, how do I emotionally deal with his loss?
Amber: First let me say that I do feel sad for your loss. I, too, have lost friends and have felt sad. Feeling sad when we miss someone is natural and normal and is one of our emotions. I think it a blessing to be able to say that I loved someone enough to miss them when they are no longer with me. But your question also begs for a deeper answer. Because you say it directly in your statement when you write “here is my point of view.” It is important to really understand that your feeling abandoned truly is YOUR point of view. But it may not be your cat friend’s point of view at all. I cannot speak for your cat or analyze his actions, but I can speak in the generalities of life. Our intentions truly set the tone for all of our actions. This is so important for all of us to remember. The intentions behind any action by anyone, really is at the base of what that action represents. So was your cat sitting there with you one day and suddenly look over at you and think to himself, “I intend to abandon her now and leave her so that she misses me.” I can guarantee you that if you look into your heart, you know the truth is that he didn’t set out to hurt or abandon you. Now, the fact is that he left. His intention may have been that he needed to find a piece of himself that was missing. It could be that he couldn’t deal with the city life and needed to be out on the earth. Or it could be that something deep inside him told him that he needed to find something for his own growth. Or it could even be that the two of you had given each other what you met up to give one another and that chapter was complete. It could be many other reasons as well. But from your perspective, he left. It was YOU then who felt abandoned. But he did not abandon you. So, how do you emotionally deal with his loss? Hold him in your heart. Hold his love for you and your love for him right there in your heart. Because no matter how long you were together, or if you may or may not even see each other again in this lifetime, you will know that your heart connection is totally real. You see, it is an illusion that he abandoned you. He connected hearts with you and that he never ceased doing. I’ll bet you anything that if you look inside your own heart, you will feel him, and know that what I say is true. And if you embrace his love, you will feel him within you, where he never ceased to be. And you can be grateful for the gifts you gave to one another. You both were enhanced by your love you shared. Your souls grew, each in their own way. That is cause for celebration. He didn’t leave you. He just moved into another situation where he was drawn to move. Miss him, that is fine. But find the blessing he brought to you and that you gave to him. And when you do that, he will feel you with him again too, and neither of you will be lost from the other.
2. Q: How do animals feel about killing one another, be it in a fit of rage, or for dominance, or food? Several months ago, a situation arose with one of my German Shepherds. She attacked the others without reason (or a reason that I could see). I had a decision that either I would allow her to kill another Shepherd (who is much older) or kill her. I chose to kill her. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, send her love, and wish she was still here. I took another life and I really have trouble coming to terms with that.
Amber: I am going to start this answer by referring to the above question and a statement I made in there. It is important to remember that our intentions truly set the tones for all of our actions. This is critical to this discussion. Life is sacred. And death is a part of Life. The intentions of those taking the life of another, for any reason, is what matters. It matters to the soul of the one taking the life, as much as to the one whose moving from physical into spiritual. This includes the most heinous of deaths, the most tragic of accidents, euthanasia of otherwise healthy animals, the euthanasia of the ill, or the killing of another for food. All of these involve different intentions or motives. But where the one making that decision to take a life is, in their own heart, changes the whole process. If you think that you or anyone else is making that decision alone, you are sadly mistaken. You are never totally in charge of taking another’s life even when it looks like that is not true. It is fully a participation of the being who is leaving as well as the one who is staying. There is a relationship between the two entities whether long term or brief. In the case of your dog, you made that most difficult decision out of a long term relationship. From that context, your dog fully participated with you in that decision. She understood that you sent her onward, not from anger or hatred, but out of love. You did not make that decision alone. It may not make sense to you to see it that way. But if you were to connect with your dog friend in spirit, I will bet that you’d find that she understands exactly why she needed to move on at that moment. I encourage you to explore that for yourself so that you can find peace with that. Because I can tell you that she has found the peace that she needed.
I have answered the meat eating question in other previous columns but I will just say that when a predator animal takes the life of a prey animal, they do so out of total respect for, and in relationship to that life they are taking. They remain present with the spirit who leaves and understand that they are in relationship with them for the sustenance of their own lives. If humans would eat this way, they’d find a whole new relationship with their food and animals would not suffer at their hands in the process. Suffering comes when one is out of relationship and forgets the sanctity of life.
Your dog would not ask you to hold on to guilt for her passing. She instead would invite you to see where she is now on her journey and to understand that your relationship helped her to move onward.
3. Q: In your July answer, you point out that most humans are closed off from their hearts. I know I am closed off from my heart as well and I am desperately in search of a way back to my heart. Could you please tell me how I can find it?
Amber: My friend, your heart is totally safe and accessible to you. You simply need to believe that this is true. The only thing blocking any of you from your hearts is that you don’t listen to what your heart is telling you. You do hear it just fine. You just question what it is telling you. You look to logic to make sense of what your spirit speaks to you through your own heart. Why do most animals not have that problem? Because we have had no one telling us that we shouldn’t trust our hearts. No one came in to our lives and told us that we should not listen. It is the way of all nature to listen to our hearts. Each living thing is born able and with the knowledge to listen to their inner voice. But humans are taught early on, and then spread it from generation to generation, that your inner voice is not to be trusted. It is based not on any experience but just because someone told you that. Listen within to your inner yearnings. Just take something simple and trust it. You will see how easy it becomes. It is only difficult because you believe it will be. You see, I believe you can do it. Why? Because I see human after human reach deeper within themselves when they come to visit our farm. They find that heart within themselves because we surround them in the knowledge that their heart is alive and well and speaking to them. Surround yourself with the belief that you can hear your heart and you will hear it, and the more you listen, the more you will hear. The more you hear, the more you will follow it. The more you follow your heart, the more you will believe in your path. And you will find the lighted path before you that your heart has prepared for you from your own soul. I believe in your heart even when you don’t.
4. Q: I for a long time have felt a connection with animals, but as an ever doubting human (you animals are so lucky that you seem to understand more of the world than we) I tend to not always trust my feelings and connections and write them off as just my imagination. So with the connections, I’ve tried to ask my dog to do something simple, like lick my hand or to walk forward if she really understands me, but I don’t always get a response from her. Why is this? Is this stuff really just all in my head?
Amber: Oh you silly humans! (And I say that lovingly.) First of all, let me say that we animals are not in awe that you humans can hear us. We know you can hear us just fine but that you usually are not listening. You are the ones that seem to think its an anomaly or a miracle that you can hear us. So let’s assume a scenario where a human enters your environment who for some reason is convinced you can’t understand them when they speak. They say to you, “Do you understand me? Can you hear me?” And you answer that you do understand them and hear them. But they just cannot believe that would be true so they try something else to be sure. They say to you, “Ok, if you hear me now, raise your right hand.” Now you may at this point decide to go along with this person and you raise your right hand. But now this doubting person thinks it was a coincidence that you moved your right hand, so they try again. “Ok, if you hear me now, turn around in a circle.” But now you’ve had it with this game. This person is just not getting it. So you may decide to just walk away out of frustration.
Your animals feel the same way! Some of them will humor you and play this game, others won’t even play the game. Try to ask them something more meaningful and pretend you hear them. If it feels like it is your imagination, so what? Don’t worry what it feels like. Just follow it and see where it takes you. But if you keep doubting everything they tell you, they will stop telling you. You would do the same.
That's it from the mailbag for this month!