When Life Gives Us a Sign

A reader submitted this question and Dawn Hayman answers.

Q: Do you believe that life sends us messages through people or things?  Signs, as some people call them.  I have received many signs in order for me to prepare myself for the death of a loved one - many messages since April.  I could say one after the other.  The last one was one month ago.  It was a very clear message.  I told myself:  this is it.  Nothing has happened so far.  What is this?   Is life playing tricks on me?

A:  I fully believe that Life, Spirit, the Universe - whatever words you want to use to describe it – is always sending us messages.  However, we don’t always recognize when we have received an answer or put the answer into the appropriate context. Many times, we are given information that is about our own personal growth, but then we read it through a context of fear.  For example, you may be receiving messages that you need to prepare for a loved one’s passing, but that passing may not be imminent.  But the Universe may be sending you the piece of growth that needs to happen within yourself so that you can then process whatever you need to process within yourself for when that time comes. 

Frequently, we ask for help, and then when we get it, we run from it.  It’s the old adage  “Be careful what you wish for, you may get it.”  Like a person who says to the Universe,  “I hate my job!  I need to be doing something I really like.”  Soon after, the person loses their job unexpectedly and instead of seeing that as the movement that needed to happen to find something better, they bemoan “Everything always goes wrong for me and I never can find happiness. I am doomed to be stuck in something I don’t like.”  When in fact, the path to finding the better job they were asking for was just presented to them.  

Many times we see these gifts of Life or the Universe through our own fears.  It is a given that we will face the deaths of those we love.  Our fears around that are often reflected then in how we read messages that are given to us.  If we are afraid of what we’ll do when one of our loved ones passes, and the Universe sends us a message through someone or something that is to convey the message that -“when your loved one dies, you will be fine”- we may actually hear that through our own fear and translate that to - “Your loved one is going to die soon.”  In other words, our own fear is blocking us from hearing the actual message. 

I have heard people say, “I never get any messages like that given to me.”  But I think that is very unlikely.  The truth is that Life communicates to and through us constantly.  We are not alone in this world.  We have guides and helpers all along the way.  And when we ask for help, they do answer.  The question really is are we listening?  Do we hear their answer?  And do we hear it in a way that is not mistranslated through our own fears and apprehensions?  If we pose a question to the Universe, to Life, to Spirit, we will be answered.  But it is also up to us then to listen for the answer. 

After our facility suffered a fire in 1993, the Universe was providing us with message after message to move forward and continue on the path.  It would have been far easier to quit at that moment.  We had lost everything.  And there was no obvious, clear path to move forward.  But the Universe kept telling us this was a chance for a new beginning.  “Trust!” the universe screamed at us. 

I remember we were doing salvaging for long hours, for weeks,  shoveling through the ash of the ruins of our building that burned to the ground, looking for anything of value to us.  There was one particular piece of jewelry that Bonnie was hoping to find.  A gold snake pin with several stones that was given to her as a gift and held special meaning for her.  We looked and sifted through the place where it should have been but found nothing. 

Winter was closing in and I was out working in the ruins for the last time that season.  I knew I neither had the strength nor the energy to continue and it was time to move on.  But I couldn’t give up looking for that pin.  I sifted through one last pile and found nothing.  Disheartened, I threw the shovel into a large pile of ash and debris and turned to walk away.  I had given up.  Just then, a Monarch butterfly started fluttering around my head.  Around and around until it became a nuisance.  “Pay attention!  Pay attention!” it said.  I kept walking and was not at all paying attention until it occurred to me that it was December and it was freezing cold outside and there are no butterflies around.  The butterfly led me back to the ruins.  It fluttered back to the pile where it joined 4 other butterflies all fluttering around and around the handle of the shovel that I had just thrown into the pile.  I pulled the shovel out of the pile, heaped with ash, and threw the shovel full into the sieve I had left sitting there.  I heard the distinct clink of metal.  My heart raced as I ran to the sieve and began brushing the ash away with my gloves.  There, in the middle of the ash and dirt, was a shinning gold snake pin.  It looked like a jeweler had just polished it.  There wasn’t a mark on it.  The butterflies all circled the sieve and then back around my head they circled, singing out with joy – “Trust!  Believe! Out of the ash you will shine.” 

And then, they simply vanished.  They didn’t fly away.  They were just gone.  But the pin was very real in my hand.  The lesson from Spirit went deep into my heart.  I was done digging in the rubble and now it was time to move on.  Time to trust that we would rise beyond the ash, which of course, we did. 

Life, Spirit, the Universe, does not play tricks on us, although it does have a great sense of humor and a love for play.  But it is not deceitful.  “Ask and you shall receive.”  That is the very nature of Life, Spirit, the Universe.  But the listening to and interpretation of the answers and the journey we then follow is totally up to each one of us.  That is our individual journey and our learning experience in Life. 

Listen.  Trust.  Believe.  It is a journey that each one of us embarks upon each in our own unique ways.  And Life, Spirit, the Universe, is always there cheering us on.  

Dealing with the Loss of a Pet/Loved One

The following question was submitted by a reader looking for help with the recent loss of his beloved dog. 

I lost my dog and light of my life Bonnie the night before last, I have been away at college and I didn’t get to say good-bye. I feel so heartbroken and lost, almost like the light has gone away. She was part of my family for nine years. I’m not sure what to ask.....but for some reason I felt I had to send this email. Do you have any advice?

J.

Dear J,

The pain of losing someone we love is always difficult.  But the animals have taught me so much over the years about grief and healing.  Its all about trusting our heart connections and letting the very light that you feel is now gone from your life, back in, to your heart.  The perception that you weren’t there when your friend passed is also hard and probably makes you feel even more disconnected.  However, there is a powerful truth that the animals have shared with me over the years that I’d like to share with you.

That truth is that our heart connections are very real and transcend time and space.  So what does that mean?  And how does that ease your heart? 

The love and connection you had for Bonnie and felt from her is very real.  When she was still alive and you were away at school, I’ll bet that you could still feel her and knew she was there.  You knew the importance she was in your life and the place in the heart where she lived and brought you so much love and joy and companionship.  You also know that your feelings for her and her feelings for you didn’t diminish one iota because you were away at school.  Distance did not interfere with your relationship or your love for her.  And in that same way, Bonnie knew you were with her even as she left her body.  She never felt separated from your heart.

That still holds true now, even when she is not in a physical body.  We live in a physical world and the reality is that our bodies are used to touching and seeing and interacting with our friends and loved ones.  So when you go home, especially for the first time, and she is not there, it will be painful.  When we cannot touch them or see them, our bodies ache for them.  And that separation we feel is a physical separation and is the basis for our grief.  There is no way around grief.  When we love someone and then they are gone from our lives physically, we miss them and we grieve.

However, healing comes in when we realize and understand that through our grief, our hearts can still find them.  Our love and connection is still very much alive.  For love and heart connections are very real energy connections.  Picture it as a beam of light connecting one heart to another.  That beam is not physical but is made of energy.  And energy is the connection between the physical and spiritual world.

In the thousands of consultations I have done for people with animals in spirit, the most common message I get from those animals is something that I find very comforting.  They tell me that when we think about them, they feel us. 

Think about the power in that.  Because it is a truth of heart connection that is the source of healing our aching hearts.  They still feel our love and we can still feel theirs.  That doesn’t mean that we won’t still miss them.  You will miss Bonnie and all the things about her.  But from your grief, try to spend some time on your memories of joy and all the laughter and comfort she brought to you and your family.  I’ll bet you all have incredible memories that make you all smile when you think of them.  And you all have individual moments that were special just between you and Bonnie.  Allow yourself to remember those things.  And when you do, also allow yourself to feel the love you still have for her and acknowledge the place she holds firmly in your heart.  Because as you do that, she will feel that from where she is in spirit, and she will return that love to you and you WILL feel it in your heart. 

Our heart connections are real and they are eternal.  They are unaffected by time or space.  And the place that Bonnie holds in your heart and in the life of your family is forever secure within her heart and soul. 

That is the absolute truth.  It is what thousands and thousands of animals have taught me over many years.  Grief is a process that will ease with time and get better.  Love is a connection that is forever. 

What a blessed and lucky dog Bonnie was to be so loved and cherished by you and your family.  As I’m sure all of you have been blessed by her as well.

Dawn Hayman

Do Animals Go to Heaven? Our Eternal Connection

One of our Facebook followers posted the following question, which we have been asked many times before, and we felt deserved a more thorough response. 

I recently had to say good- bye to my baby, Smokey (feral cat). It was a very difficult decision and feel like maybe I made the wrong decision. I've been struggling, wondering if I did the right thing. I miss him terribly. Do you think animals go to heaven? I just want to know he's in a better place.

Animal Communicator and Spring Farm CARES co-founder, Dawn Hayman answers this question from her perspective from years of experience working with many thousands of animals both in the physical and in spirit.  These animals have shared with Dawn their thoughts, experiences, and their journeys from the physical into spirit, and most especially their eternal relationships with the people who love them. 

Dawn:  I think that no matter how “prepared” we think we are when one of our beloved animal friends leaves, it is still a very difficult process to go through.  We form bonds with animals, (yes, even feral cats) that are often closer and more profound than any we have shared with humans in our lives.  The reasons for this are many but most especially because animals love us unconditionally and without judgment.  Because of these traits, we tend to let them in our hearts more deeply. 

It is important to know that the relationships we have with these animals, and with humans in our lives as well, are indeed eternal.  I say this not in a placating type of way or an attempt to make you feel better.  But the truth is that any animal or human I have communicated with in Spirit always communicates something in common.  They always tell me to tell their loved ones that they still feel them.  When we think of them, they still feel us.  That heart connection or love that we feel for them and from them, surpasses the bounds of the physical realm.  Think of it as a beam of light connecting your heart to theirs that stays intact even after they leave their physical bodies and go into Spirit.  You can still feel them.  And they can still feel us.  As an animal communicator, I have helped thousands of people re-connect with their friends in Spirit and it is always some of the most rewarding work I do. 

When we are faced with helping an animal move on with euthanasia it adds another layer of emotion as it is a normal process to suddenly second-guess our decisions afterwards.   But we need to know that if we approach this decision from our hearts, that our hearts will always know the truth.  Because our hearts are connected with theirs and they are walking this path with us and you are making the decision together.   You will absolutely know when the time is right.  Its never an easy decision, and often we find ourselves second-guessing afterwards.

In those times of doubt, and in our times of grief, it is most helpful to allow your heart to feel the love you feel for and from your loved one.  Think about times or even just a single moment, that makes you laugh and fill with joy for who they were in your life.  And even though you know that memory will be overshadowed by your missing them and grieving for them once again, keep remembering them doing something they loved to do.  With a feral cat, it may be watching them lie in their favorite place in the sun or to come up for a dish of food you put out.  As you allow that memory to fill you and feel the joy and love you have for that being, know that they are feeling you in that moment too.  If you do this, you will actually feel them there in your heart.  You will feel the connection.  And your grief will subside.  We will still miss them.  Still miss seeing them, touching them, watching their bodies.  But we can know in our hearts that the relationship we have with them is always right there where it always was and we are still connected by that sturdy thread of love.  Heart connection.  Heaven is so much more than a place.  Spirit is alive.  Spirit is as alive as being in the physical.  And when we allow ourselves to feel the connection, we do feel them and know they are still there and as alive in our hearts as they were when still in body.  We feel the truth that they are indeed ok and still safe within our hearts, and we are safely embraced within theirs. 

For more information on Dawn's seminar Embracing Spirit, and for information on consultations with her, please follow this link.    http://www.springfarmcares.org/workshops.htm

What Matters? A Lesson in Trust

Photo by Matt Perry from the Spring Farm CARES Nature Sanctuary

Today I was out running 6 of our dogs in a big fenced-in field.  Outside the fence, on the other side of an adjoining field, were 3 deer, a doe and her twins, now full grown themselves.  They were a fair distance away but the dogs saw them right away and ran to the fence barking at them.  Surprisingly, the deer didn’t run into the woods but stood and watched them.  They know us and our dogs as they see us out here every day.  And they know the dogs are contained within the fence but still, I wondered why this doe wouldn’t be teaching her kids to be weary of people and dogs.  It is now hunting season and as I watched the 3 of them lazily graze in a field they knew to be safe to them, I was concerned for their safety and thought to myself about their life and what matters to them.  Do they understand its hunting season?  Do they worry about that?  Or do they just carry on and live each day?  Why are they trusting me and the dogs?

I called the dogs from the fence and we proceeded to the opposite side of the field as far away from them as I could get so that they could live in peace.  They remained grazing and our dogs eventually focused on other things.  As I walked around the field, my awareness was drawn back to the deer and I was surprised to see that the doe was staring directly at me and walking towards the fence.  “Come let me meet you,” she said to me.  I turned and even though I knew this would invite the dogs to come with me, I was mesmerized by her forwardness and obvious mission to come closer, and like a magnet, I found myself walking towards her as she continued towards me.  We both strode purposefully toward one another.  It felt like old friends, neighbors, meeting in our yards to say hello and reminisce about this beautiful fall day.  Nothing else existed in the world at the moment, just the deer and me, meeting at the fence line.  Her two kids followed her with equal trust.   She stopped about 25 ft. short of the fence, and I stopped about the same distance on my side.  And there we all stood looking at one another.  It was then that I noticed that the dogs were awfully quiet.  I briefly turned to find them sitting, watching, about 20 feet behind me, just watching. 

The doe was so relaxed and her trust of this situation struck me as being wrong.  What if I were a hunter?  She shouldn’t trust people like this.  But before I could warn her of all things bad in the world, she spoke to me deep within my heart.

“You see, I came to show you what matters to me.  You asked, I’m answering.  This matters.  You matter.  Who you are matters to me.  It matters so much to me that I trust my life with that knowing.  Not all humans are dangerous to me.  You certainly are not and I am certain of that or I wouldn’t have come closer and called you to me.  What am I teaching my children you ask?  I am teaching them about what matters most in life.  That feeling another’s heart will never give you wrong information.  That their feelings are their life blood and they can trust that just as I have.  I am showing them and teaching them about the ultimate trust in relationships.  You are a fine human but this is a lesson you yourself don’t trust.    You have not been taught to trust your heart and know when its safe to do so.  I wanted to show you this and tell you that I indeed know what matters most in my life.  This moment matters.  You matter.  Who you are deep inside matters to me as I walk this field.   Because you are who you are, I can stand here safely.  We can meet across a fence that is between us but does not separate our worlds at all.  This is what matters.  Trust what your heart shows you my friend and you will find all that matters to you is right there for you to find.  Thank you for your concern.  Thank you for caring about me and I hope I showed you today that I care about you.  We will each walk away now having known one another and we will carry this experience forward into the next field and onward.  And we will each know what matters in this moment.  May you find peace in your heart.  Your gentleness precedes you and has touched us today on our path. You matter to me and now I matter to you.”

This moment seemed to last forever but was actually very brief.  I could hear her breathe, not snorting out of fear, but a deep breath of satisfaction.  And slowly, she turned, and the 3 of them calmly walked away.  “Be safe,” I sent her from my heart.

“You too,” she replied as the three of them walked back into the woods and continued on their way.