The following question was submitted by a reader
looking for help with the recent loss of his beloved dog.
I lost my dog and light of my life Bonnie the
night before last, I have been away at college and I didn’t get to say good-bye.
I feel so heartbroken and lost, almost like the light has gone away. She was
part of my family for nine years. I’m not sure what to ask.....but for
some reason I felt I had to send this email. Do you have any advice?
J.
Dear J,
The pain of losing someone we love is always
difficult. But the animals have taught
me so much over the years about grief and healing. Its all about trusting our heart connections
and letting the very light that you feel is now gone from your life, back in,
to your heart. The perception that you
weren’t there when your friend passed is also hard and probably makes you feel
even more disconnected. However, there
is a powerful truth that the animals have shared with me over the years that
I’d like to share with you.
That truth is that our heart connections are
very real and transcend time and space.
So what does that mean? And how
does that ease your heart?
The love and connection you had for Bonnie and
felt from her is very real. When she was
still alive and you were away at school, I’ll bet that you could still feel her
and knew she was there. You knew the
importance she was in your life and the place in the heart where she lived and
brought you so much love and joy and companionship. You also know that your feelings for her and
her feelings for you didn’t diminish one iota because you were away at
school. Distance did not interfere with
your relationship or your love for her. And
in that same way, Bonnie knew you were with her even as she left her body. She never felt separated from your heart.
That still holds true now, even when she is not
in a physical body. We live in a
physical world and the reality is that our bodies are used to touching and
seeing and interacting with our friends and loved ones. So when you go home, especially for the first
time, and she is not there, it will be painful.
When we cannot touch them or see them, our bodies ache for them. And that separation we feel is a physical
separation and is the basis for our grief.
There is no way around grief.
When we love someone and then they are gone from our lives physically,
we miss them and we grieve.
However, healing comes in when we realize and
understand that through our grief, our hearts can still find them. Our love and connection is still very much
alive. For love and heart connections
are very real energy connections.
Picture it as a beam of light connecting one heart to another. That beam is not physical but is made of
energy. And energy is the connection
between the physical and spiritual world.
In the thousands of consultations I have done
for people with animals in spirit, the most common message I get from those
animals is something that I find very comforting. They tell me that when we think about them,
they feel us.
Think about the power in that. Because it is a truth of heart connection
that is the source of healing our aching hearts. They still feel our love and we can still
feel theirs. That doesn’t mean that we
won’t still miss them. You will miss
Bonnie and all the things about her. But
from your grief, try to spend some time on your memories of joy and all the
laughter and comfort she brought to you and your family. I’ll bet you all have incredible memories
that make you all smile when you think of them.
And you all have individual moments that were special just between you
and Bonnie. Allow yourself to remember
those things. And when you do, also
allow yourself to feel the love you still have for her and acknowledge the
place she holds firmly in your heart.
Because as you do that, she will feel that from where she is in spirit,
and she will return that love to you and you WILL feel it in your heart.
Our heart connections are real and they are
eternal. They are unaffected by time or
space. And the place that Bonnie holds
in your heart and in the life of your family is forever secure within her heart
and soul.
That is the absolute truth. It is what thousands and thousands of animals
have taught me over many years. Grief is
a process that will ease with time and get better. Love is a connection that is forever.
What a blessed and lucky dog Bonnie was to be so
loved and cherished by you and your family.
As I’m sure all of you have been blessed by her as well.
Dawn Hayman
